Salon of Shame

Did you keep a journal as a kid? I didn't. I tried to many, many, many times, but I would flip back through the pages of what I wrote previously and think, "Oh, how stupid was I?" Then I would rip out the pages or throw the whole thing away and start over. But the cycle just viciously repeated itself until I finally gave up the practice completely in middle school.

Now I wish I had not only kept it up, but that I had kept the journals.

Have you ever heard of the Salon of Shame?

I am DYING to go see a show, but the tickets sell out in about a minute, and they are on terrible days for me as I have to travel across the state to see it. But I want to go so badly it's not even funny.

Salon of Shame is a forum for people to read their journals from the past to an audience who has "been there and done that" and completely understands...and finds it as hysterical as you. There are all kinds of performances. The only rules are that you have to have written it, it must be from the distant past (who wants to hear about last month?), and the more embarrassing the better.

Check it out on their website or on YouTube. I'm including my favorite two videos here, but this is your fair warning:

ADULT language and content in both videos!! Do NOT watch these unless your little ones have left the room! (Oh, and if you're offended by the "f" word, these videos probably aren't for you. It's too bad, though, because they are hysterical!)

And, J, don't watch at work...do it at home please!

This one is called, "Project 'F You' Anna."

This one is called "The Secret." (In this one, I think it's particularly funny when the reader repeats himself or looks over his shoulder on especially embarrassing parts to see how the ASL interpreter says it. Two years ago I had a deaf student in class and her interpreter was both fascinating and distracting - it's strange to have someone repeating everything you just said! It took me about two weeks to get used to it...)

You can see more videos here.

Best fwends

Last week, Leah and her three little ones were here visiting J and I in HOT Kennewick. We had a blast! We saw a free movie, swam in the pool every day, and went to the park to play. My house is not terribly kid friendly, but I think we did all right.

One of my favorite things was having conversations with Connor, Jared, and Emily. They are funny kids! Here are a few highlights.

One evening my friend's son, Cody, who just graduated from Southridge called and asked if he could come use the scanner on my computer. They are making graduation / going away to college party invitations, and he wants to put a picture on them. I told him to come on over, but that it would have to be earlier rather than later because my friend's kids would be going to bed fairly early. He arrived just as we sat down for dinner. I let him in, told him to help himself to the computer, and went back to eat. The kids were very curious about Cody. So much so that Connor especially couldn't sit at the table. He kept getting up and running into the other room. When there, he apparently just stared at Cody. I could hear Cody asking him questions, but Connor wasn't responding. After one trip to the living room, when Connor got back to the table, he was really excited. This is what he had to say.

Connor: When I when I when I tell Cody my name, then we'll be best fwends!


The next evening, while Leah was bathing the boys at the same time, Emily was wandering around the house, just looking at stuff. I asked her what she typically did while her mom was giving her brothers a bath, and this is how she answered.

Emily: I usually play games with my daddy, but he's not here. Maybe I could play a game with you and Mr. J?

Of course I said sure. I told her to go pick one of the games her mom brought, and I would go get J so we could play. Imagine J's surprise when we sat down to a game of The Littlest Pet Shop. I couldn't stop giggling watching my enormous husband playing this little girl's game. When Emily beat him, I really couldn't stop giggling.



The day they arrived, Jared had a present for me. It was a painting he did in purple and green of a "Messy Monster." I asked about the monster, and Jared told me:

Jared: Messy Monster lives in the closet. That's why my closet is so messy!
Me: Great...now I have TWO Messy Monsters in my house. J is messy, too!

We put the picture on my fridge and then went about our day. Periodically throughout their visit, Jared would bring up Messy Monster and tell me about the messes he was making throughout my house. Luckily for us though, according to Jared "Messy Monster only comes out at night!"



For the duration of their visit, my cat Sid hid under the bed in my room during the day. Once the kids went down for the night he'd venture out cautiously and have some food and visit with the grownups. I had moved a litter box into the bathroom in our bedroom, so thankfully, he used that, but I didn't want to put food and water in there because I wanted to encourage the cats to leave the room. Sid was a scaredy cat and refused to come out from under the bed if my bedroom door was open. If it was closed, he'd come out and whine at J or I to pet him and cuddle him. If the door was open, though, he was under the bed. Zoe, on the other hand, was much braver. She would often come out of the bedroom to check out what was going on. If it got to be too much for her, she would retreat to the bedroom. She let all three kids pet her at various times, and even let Emily pick her up and carry her around the house for a few minutes. The boys she was more wary of, and usually stayed out of their way.

Connor was enamored with Zoe. He thought it was so cool that if you shake the treat can, she comes running. (Usually both cats come running for treats, but not even the treats could lure Sid out of my room!) Many times a day Connor asked if he could give Zoe treats. I usually said yes because the "treats" are not really treats. They are just a different kind of cat food that is low allergen like their regular food, but supposed to be good for getting rid of tartar on their teeth. I think we overdid it on their last full day here, though. While Leah was reading to Jared and Emily, Connor decided he wanted to hang out in the living room with J and I. Zoe was sitting near me, and she was in a good mood. When Connor came over to talk to me, Zoe was wrapping herself around his legs, and then she sat down right next to him. Connor crouched down (in that cute little kid squat so they can be up close and personal with whatever they're looking at) to pet her, but immediately stood right back up with his face scrunched up.

He looked at me and said: Zoe 'tinks!!

I bent down to see what he was talking about, and sure enough, Zoe did 'tink. She apparently had had too many treats that day and it made her a little gassy. Zoe 'tinked a lot that evening!


All the kids were really excited to get in the pool the first evening - until Connor was on the ladder, that is, looking down at the water. Then he decided it was not such a good idea. We could NOT convince him that his life jacket would hold him up, and that it was okay to get in. Not even seeing his brother and sister in the water moving around was enough to convince him. Finally J went to the garage and got one of our floating chairs. They are the coolest chairs ever, as they have foot rests and also a mesh bottom. That way, while you are floating around, your hiney gets wet, but the rest of you is floating on top of the water. He still didn't think that was a good idea, but we had Emily climb into the chair to show Connor she was on top of the water, and then he agreed.

The next day, when we went out to the pool, Connor was excited about swimming in his "boat" again. After he'd had some time to be in the water and to see his brother and sister swimming around, Leah thought she'd take him out of the boat and let him see that he was fine in the water. We figured he'd freak out for a few minutes, but after that would be fine. Boy, were we wrong! He flipped a gasket and continued screaming and thrashing around for at least ten minutes! Leah tried to distract him by putting his hands on the wall of the pool, then asking him to "crab walk" around the edge and catch her. She started moving away, and he started to climb over the edge of my four foot pool! I came up behind him, grabbed his hands, and started to move them along the wall so we could chase Leah. At that point, he alternated between giggling like a wild man and screaming like we were trying to kill him. We got about three-quarters of the way around the pool when we got to the ladder. I didn't pull him off the wall quite far enough, and he grabbed it and held on for dear life. We decided that he just wasn't going to do it, so we got his boat back for him. It took a little convincing that we weren't going to drop him in the middle of the pool before he let us help him back into the chair, but then he was fine until it was time to get out for the afternoon.

The next morning, we went to see a free movie (I LOVE that theaters do this during the summer!), then we came home and ate lunch. It was close to 1pm before we headed back out to the pool. I headed out there first while Leah was finishing up getting the kids ready so I could plug in the filter and start skimming the top (I love outdoor pools, but HATE the bugs and leaves!). Connor came out with me to watch and had this to say.

Connor: Kristina? I am NOT going to do that thing again today.
Me: What thing?
Connor: That thing where you guys are dragging me around. I am NOT doing that today.

I had a blast with Leah and her kids. There were so many other funny things that happened, but I can't steal them all for my blog...just in case Leah feels like mentioning any of them!

knowing me, knowing you - August

Because I was so late last month, I thought I'd get a bit of a head start on this month...only a week in!

A few months ago, Shan from Tales from the Fairy Blogmother started a new interview post. She invited everyone to play along each month. So here it is, the August installment of Knowing Me, Knowing You!

1. Would you rather swim in a pool or a lake?
Tough call. I think I would have to say an outdoor pool. I love being in the water outside, but I don’t like dirty water or seaweed. (The Columbia and Yakima Rivers aren’t too bad, but lakes are sometimes iffy. Blue Lake is awesome, though. We used to camp there when I was a kid and I loved it!) On the other hand, public pools kind of creep me out a bit, too. You don’t know where people have been, or how many kids have peed in the pool. I think my pool is my favorite place to swim. It’s clean, cool, and right in my backyard. It’s 21 x 17 feet big and 4 feet deep, so it’s not big enough to swim laps, but plenty big to float or goof around. Plus, it’s right in my backyard!

2.Where do you do most of your internetting, from a desktop or a laptop?
At home, 99% is done from my desktop. I have a laptop at school that I sometimes bring home, but not typically. My home computer is faster and has a GREAT monitor that’s nice and big and I can see everything. At school, 90% of my internetting is done on the laptop because that’s what the school has provided for me, but sometimes I’ll sit at a student computer in one of the labs because it’s easier than dragging my laptop and Ethernet cords all over the place.

3. What did you do today?
So far I have done a few loads of laundry, paid a bill that J needed to mail today, and looked at the blogs I like to read. Then I decided to get a few of my own blog entries done and have been sitting here for almost an hour working on several entries. I have yet to shower or get dressed – I’m thinking about staying in pj’s all day. Well, I’ll shower and dress when J is on his way home because we may go see a movie this evening. Other than that, it’s all about cleaning and laundry and blogging today!

4. Have you had enough of this cool, rainy summer?
The weather must be different where Shan is in Canada, because it has not been cool OR rainy here until yesterday. For the last month or so we’ve had weather in the low to high 90s daily. Last week we were in the 100s almost every day. Last weekend we hit 105 twice. Monday of this week was 98, Tuesday was 98, Wednesday was 93, yesterday was 93, but right now today it’s 64 and sprinkling. (To give you a comparison, yesterday at this time it was 88.) I’m actually looking forward to cool weather in the fall.

5. Chocolate pudding or butterscotch?
Both. More often than not I have chocolate, but I do enjoy butterscotch on occasion. My real favorite, though, is vanilla.

knowing me, knowing you - July

Okay, so I'm maybe a little late this month. But seriously? Where in the heck did July go?

A few months ago, Shan from Tales from the Fairy Blogmother started a new interview post. She invited everyone to play along each month. So here it is, the July installment of Knowing Me, Knowing You!

1. What household chore do you dislike the most?
Hands down, cleaning the toilets. It flat grosses me out, and there’s not much more to be said about that. I don’t mind dusting and vacuuming, or laundry and dishes so much. I think second to cleaning the toilets would be mopping floors and putting away laundry and dishes. I don’t mind washing the clothes or dishes, but I can’t stand putting them away.

2.Do you have any travel plans this year?
I actually do! We went camping already, but that doesn’t really count as travel, does it? In September, J and I are going to go on a cruise to Alaska! It leaves out of Seattle, so we’ll drive over there and then get on the ship. We’re terribly excited – this is the nicest (and most expensive) trip the two of us have ever been on together! It will be my third cruise, but J’s first. I’ve been looking at all the shore excursions trying to decide which ones we should do. Randomly, and coincidentally, my dad and step-mom will be taking the same cruise exactly one month before we do – same ship and everything! My friend’s parents just got back from an Alaskan cruise, too, though I don’t know if it was the same ship we’ll be on. My secret hope is that J falls in love with cruises and we can start going on them every so often. I think it’s a great way to travel. I typically like to take it easy when I am on vacation, but if I’ve paid to fly somewhere and am staying in a hotel, I like to get my money’s worth and see everything there is to see. On a cruise, you have a day at port and a day at sea, so every other day I get to see stuff and then the other days I get to hang out and read and not feel guilty because there’s nowhere else I can go! Plus, all of your food is included in the cost of the cruise, even room service is “free”!!

3. Ever met a bloggy friend in real life?
Well, not technically. I’ve known Leah since high school, and she’s a bloggy friend, too. But I haven’t ever met anyone else.

4. Seen anything good lately?
I’ve actually seen several movies this summer. It’s been pretty cool. I particularly liked “The Ugly Truth,” “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince,” and “The Proposal.” This evening J and I are most likely going to see “G.I. Joe” so I’m going to make him take me to see “Julie and Julia” soon. Unless my sister and I can carve out time to do that when I go to Seattle next weekend for her pinning ceremony (basically, she’s graduating from nursing school – yay T!!!).

5. What is your favorite kitchen appliance?
It’s sort of embarrassing to admit this, but I’d probably have to say my microwave. I don’t cook or bake very often. It’s not that I can’t do it, it’s that I don’t really like to. The microwave makes life very easy. I also LOVE my dishwasher – I put everything in it, even if it’s not technically supposed to go in there. Wooden spoons may get dried out and cracked, but you can get a four or six pack for a dollar at the dollar store, so I’m not terribly concerned. Also, I’ve only ever lost two wooden spoons yet, and I’ve lived over here and owned my own utensils for eight years. I think putting everything in the dishwasher is a risk I’m willing to take.