Things I learned

During Spring Break, I decided it was finally time to have the septic tank pumped. I'd heard that you were supposed to do it every four or five years or so, and we're going on 7.5 years in this house. We've never had it pumped.

I couldn't find the paperwork for the people who came out to do it last time, so I just opened the phone book and looked to see who was licensed and bonded, and then called the first number I found.  I asked if there was any way I could get it done that same week, and the nice man I was talking to said he had an opening on Wednesday.  Little did I know what an enlightening experience I was about to have.

Here's what I learned:

1.  I learned where my septic tank is. I had an idea, but now I know.

2.  I learned that I could have found my tank myself instead of paying them to find it.  I thought they had special equipment to find it, though, so I figured I'd let the experts.

3.  I learned that the "special" equipment they had was a stick. That's right. A long skinny piece of metal with handles on it that they poked in the ground in the general area where the tank was supposed to be.

4.  I learned it costs $95/hour for someone else to dig up my septic tank.

5.  I learned I should just get my own stick.

6.  I learned my septic tank is about two feet deeper than normal, and that I should have dug it up myself.  (Refer to #1...I didn't know where it was before, but now I do. Next time? I'm digging it up myself.  And by digging it up myself I mean that J will be digging it up.)

7.  I learned that for $70ish I can buy cement "risers" to bring the lid of my septic tank up to a normal depth so we don't have to dig so much. (And by "I can buy" I mean J can buy. This chore definitely falls under his job description as the man of the house.)

8.  I learned that our septic tank is OLD.  Which means it only has one compartment. "New" septic tanks (those built after 1977) have two compartments.  One for the solids and one for the liquids.

9.  I learned that you should not use the garbage disposal if you have a septic tank. Because "the *&^% eats itself up, but food just floats on top." (**I didn't want the visual, either, but if I had to suffer, you can share the burden with me.)

10. I learned that we were "definitely overdue (for a tank pumping) but not in a bad situation yet. You could have probably gone another year before the *&^% backed up into your shower."

11.  I learned that when we have kids, even though some diaper wipes say they are septic tank friendly, they are not.  And they "clog up my machinery and that's irritating."

12.  I learned that our septic tank guy, though crude, is somewhat thoughtful.  When I invited him to step inside as I wrote the check (because I had to close the door so the cats wouldn't get outside), he told me he would stay on the front porch because he didn't want to "get *&^% all over your house - and I'm covered in it."

13.  And last, but not least, I learned that my septic tank was clean and clear and J and I could "*&^% our brains out."

Every day is a learning opportunity, and on that day, I learned a lot.

Blue Tarp Camping

If you've grown up in the Pacific Northwest like me, there's nothing more to say. This video says it all.

Relentless Recycler

Too funny, and too true! My dad could give this lady a run for her money. In fact, my sisters and I got him the t-shirt for Father's Day last year.

Socks and sandals

The Pemco Northwest Profiles are pretty dang funny. And it's scary how many of these people I know! Though they are transplants to the Pacific Northwest, both my father-in-law and J fit this profile.

Wicked Good

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Salon of Shame

Did you keep a journal as a kid? I didn't. I tried to many, many, many times, but I would flip back through the pages of what I wrote previously and think, "Oh, how stupid was I?" Then I would rip out the pages or throw the whole thing away and start over. But the cycle just viciously repeated itself until I finally gave up the practice completely in middle school.

Now I wish I had not only kept it up, but that I had kept the journals.

Have you ever heard of the Salon of Shame?

I am DYING to go see a show, but the tickets sell out in about a minute, and they are on terrible days for me as I have to travel across the state to see it. But I want to go so badly it's not even funny.

Salon of Shame is a forum for people to read their journals from the past to an audience who has "been there and done that" and completely understands...and finds it as hysterical as you. There are all kinds of performances. The only rules are that you have to have written it, it must be from the distant past (who wants to hear about last month?), and the more embarrassing the better.

Check it out on their website or on YouTube. I'm including my favorite two videos here, but this is your fair warning:

ADULT language and content in both videos!! Do NOT watch these unless your little ones have left the room! (Oh, and if you're offended by the "f" word, these videos probably aren't for you. It's too bad, though, because they are hysterical!)

And, J, don't watch at work...do it at home please!

This one is called, "Project 'F You' Anna."

This one is called "The Secret." (In this one, I think it's particularly funny when the reader repeats himself or looks over his shoulder on especially embarrassing parts to see how the ASL interpreter says it. Two years ago I had a deaf student in class and her interpreter was both fascinating and distracting - it's strange to have someone repeating everything you just said! It took me about two weeks to get used to it...)

You can see more videos here.

They even cleaned behind the shed

Holy crap. When J and I decided that THIS summer is the summer we are going to take care of our shambles of a backyard, we had no idea what we were getting into. We looked at our bank account, decided on a number we were okay with for the work, and then started discussing what we wanted done.

By discussing, I mean arguing.

It wasn't pretty, and it lasted a long time. The crazy thing is, once we backed off a little and looked at what the other was saying, we realized we wanted the same things, we just needed to negotiate the details. For example, we both wanted a fire pit - we just wanted it in different places in the yard. Why were we arguing over that? That seems so silly.

We finally agreed on what we were going to do. We had a plan, and, because THIS is the summer, I spent my first few days out of school on the phone. I called all sorts of people and scheduled all sorts of things. The problem with this, though, is that I had NO idea who to call. A few years ago we called a landscape company to come out and give us a bid on what we wanted done then, but he never followed through. And this was a guy who was a friend of a friend...if you can't trust someone you "know," who can you trust? We were pretty apprehensive.

Our parents don't live around here, so we couldn't call them for advice. When I opened the phone book, there were fifteen pages of companies under landscaping alone. I admit, I got really overwhelmed. Then I thought about my neighbor - she has someone come do her yard every week. I thought maybe she would have some ideas or advice. I went and looked up her phone number and called. It was a surprisingly pleasant call. You see, we are NOT very close to our neighbors at all. The people in our neighborhood are nice enough, but everyone keeps to themselves for the most part. I had only ever spoken to this lady one time about a month after we moved in. I know she and J had chatted a few times in the yard over the last few years, but we've lived here six years and I can count our conversations on one hand.

Anyway, Linda, my neighbor, said she loved Nacho, her yard guy. She told me that he mostly does lawn maintenance, but that he's been trying to talk her into letting him put sprinklers in her yard for awhile now. She suggested I call him and see what he thought. So I did.

He said he could come over that Friday when his crew was at Linda's house, and we could talk then. I agreed, hung up the phone, and had a mini-panic attack. This is pretty stressful - we're considering spending a lot of money, and there are no guarantees. This isn't like going to Wal-Mart, buying something and then returning it. This is the type of thing you just have to move forward with, and trust that you are making the right decisions.

Nacho came over on Friday, I walked him through the jungle we call our back yard, and told him what we wanted to do. He took notes and some measurements, and then told me he'd call me back with a quote. He said if we chose to use his company, that it was "a big yob, but we can do it in about a week."

That was music to my ears. My gut told me he was an honest type of fellow, and several people in our neighborhood have used his services regularly for a long time. When he came back with the quote, it was within the range J and I had agreed on, so I went ahead and told him we wanted him to do the work.

There were several things that had to happen, though, before Nacho and his crew could come work their magic on our yard. We had to take down the pool, pour a concrete pad, and have several limbs of our giant mulberry tree removed.

We called a concrete guy in to come give us a bid - $3100. We said, thanks, but no thanks. That's way out of our budget. Then we decided that this would be a DIY project, and J called his dad. His dad agreed to help us, so we just needed to get started.

We bribed one of J's friends with beer and grilled hamburgers to come over here and help take down and move the pool. Thank goodness for Sean - there's NO way I could have helped J pick that up and carry it clear across the yard to the shed.

Thanks to Dad H. and his three or four weekend trips over here, and a lot of hard work on his and J's part, the concrete is now finished. (And, FYI, we are now the proud owners of a portable concrete mixer...if you ever find yourself in need of one, come borrow it or make an offer...I may just sell it to you!)

While we were camping I had the tree service come take care of the trees. (I trusted them - we had used them once before a few years ago, and they were fantastic!)

Now it's time for Nacho to get started. His crew came Monday morning to do the clean up, and they are coming back Friday (tomorrow) to start digging up the old sprinklers and putting in new. Next week they'll finish the sprinklers and then lay new sod.

I was here while they were working, but I wasn't really paying attention to what they were doing. I assumed they would be cutting down the weeds and maybe starting to pull up some of the old grass, but only in the areas they would be laying new sod.

I was wrong. They cleaned EVERYTHING. They weeded up against the house and a flower bed that hasn't been touched in six years. They moved all the crap on the deck and got rid of leaves that have been trapped between the screen door and sliding door. They cleaned all the old rotting leaves off the wood stack. They cleaned up the side of the garage. They even cleaned behind the shed.

I am not embarrassed to admit I did a little happy dance when I saw everything that had been done. If the rest of their work is half as good as what they did already, we're getting one hell of a deal.

I wish I had thought to take pictures of all this as it was going on, but I didn't. I'm sure I've got some pictures of how hideous the yard was a few weeks ago...I'll for sure do before and after even if I can't do the during.

I can't wait to see what they do tomorrow!

Once upon a time

One day a long, long time ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag or bitch.

But it was a long time ago and it was just that one day.


The End

Now that's punny!

They said we'd have an African-American President when pigs fly.

Three months later?

Swine flu.

Handbook for 2009, pt. 4

We talked last week about the things we should be doing this year to improve society in general. This is the fourth and final week of the Handbook for 2009. This week it's all about how to improve our lives (though it could be argued that everything we've talked about for the last three weeks improves our lives).

Life

31. Do the right thing!
I try to always do the right thing. Though as we know, the right thing is not always the easy thing. I'm an honest person and can't intentionally do anything to hurt anyone else.

32. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
This is good, too. Periodically throughout the year I feel the urge to purge our house of stuff we have accumulated and do not need. J and I both tend to keep stuff "just in case" and then we have way too much stuff. We take several big loads of things to the Goodwill each year. If I were more internet savvy I would figure out how to sell some of it on e-Bay, but I'm not so I don't. Plus, I don't know if I would have time for that. But, after I have purged, I do feel much better. I feel lighter, and happier. Things shouldn't weigh us down so much, right?

33. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
This is simultaneously pessimistic and optimistic. J would say it's neither pessimistic or optimistic, but realistic. I think that there is always hope. If it's a bad situation, you always hope for the best and do what you can to make it that way. If it's a good situation, you hope it stays that way, and do what you can to make it. So as long as you are hopeful, every situation is manageable. (Side note: YAY!!!! I can feel some of my Pollyanna attitude coming back!!!)

34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
Sometimes this is harder than it seems. Especially because I am intensely awkward in social settings. I often let me talk myself out of doing things because they intimidate me. I need to get over that.

35. The best is yet to come.
Is there anything else to say?

Handbook for 2009, pt. 3

We talked last week about the things we should be doing this year to improve our personalities (though none of us really need it, right?). This week it's all about how to improve society in general.

Society

25. Call your family often.
This is something both J and I suck at. We tend to wait for them to call us. We need to make a point of calling at least once a week, if not more. It's hard to be so far away from family and not really know what's going on in their lives. We tend to find out about stuff last...and it's because we don't call.

26. Each day give something good to others.
I try. This is a good reminder for me. Lately I've been feeling like I'm not very nice anymore. So this is something I need to keep remembering. I used to be really good at it, but now I'm not so sure. I'm good to my students every day, but there are days I could be better.

27. Forgive everyone for everything.
Oh, boy, is this one hard, too. I can forgive most things, but somethings I just can't forgive that easily. I think if you forgive everyone for everything, you become a doormat. I think that you shouldn't hold things against people, everyone deserves a second chance. But you need to be cautious that you don't start enabling people. Everyone needs to be held accountable for their own choices.

28. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
Laughter is the best medicine, right? I find that smiling a lot makes you feel better. I smile all the time. If nothing else, it helps me try to remain positive.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
Well, I don't necessarily agree that it's none of my business. I do agree, however, that I shouldn't worry about it too much. I am who I am, and if you don't like me it's your loss.

30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
Boy, isn't this the truth. And friends can be pretty great. Last year I got strep throat for the first time since middle school. I was miserable. But my friend took care of everything for me. J went to the store and got me the foods I like when I'm sick (Jell-O, 7-Up, and Saltine crackers), and he went to the pharmacy for my drugs.

TGI...M?

Whew! What a busy weekend! I was sick all week last week, and I pushed myself to go in to work every day. But by the time Friday rolled around, I just could not face one more day at school feeling the way I felt. So I called in.

I'm so glad I did. I didn't sleep that much on Friday, but I definitely took it easy all day.

On Saturday morning, I went with one of my friends to a free event at the Convention Center called Responding to Autism. Her son was recently diagnosed with Autism, and this event was to connect parents of special needs children with various resources around the Tri-Cities. I wouldn't say I had fun, but I was very impressed with what's out there. I learned a TON of information, too! Probably the most interesting thing I learned was that even in our small town, we have a pediatric dentist who works with special needs children! There was even a dad's support group there with a booth. The amount of resources available were both amazing and overwhelming. The second most enjoyable booth was the health food store. My friend is going to start her son on a gluten / casein free diet, and was pretty overwhelmed by the thought. However, there were some great cookbooks and awesome samples at the health food booth! I sampled gluten free brownies and waffles, and couldn't tell a difference in taste. The texture was a bit different, but the taste was amazing! (The brownie was not dense...it was a little more crumbly than I expected and a LOT lighter.)

After I was done there, I met J at the mall. He needed a few new knit polo shirts. His other shirts have gotten short over the last few years. So, we set out to get a few shirts and ended up on an all day shopping expedition. I thought I might like a polo shirt, too, so after we finished with J's stuff, we went to look for a polo shirt for me. We had exactly zero luck with a shirt for me, but instead found all kinds of other things! Two great t-shirts, a few camis with lace at the top and bottom, and super cute coral colored jacket, and...a dress.

Yep. I bought a dress.

For those of you who don't know me, you may wonder why this is a big deal. Girls wear dresses, right? Well, let me share a secret with you: I don't. In fact, I had a jumper when I was in high school that I wore with t-shirts. I wore a dress to my high school prom, homecoming, and graduation. So I think I wore a dress a total of five or six times in high school. Then, in college, I wore skirts every so often, but it was rare. No dresses. I got married in a dress five years ago. I haven't even tried one on since then.

Till Saturday. There were tons of adorable dresses out, so I thought I would try one on. I've taken to "humoring" J and trying on a few of the things he picks out, but most of the time I don't like it. However, when we went school shopping at the beginning of the year, he found a few things for me that I loved.

The dresses that I picked out were super cute, but just didn't look right on me. I ended up with the polka dot dress I thought looked dorky on the hanger. It looks AWESOME on.

And J picked it out.

I can't figure that guy out, sometimes, but I'm glad he was there! I did tell him, though, that if I were to buy a dress, he would have to take me out for a fancy date so I would have someplace to wear it! He agreed, and we purchased the dress.

Then, after all of that shopping, we were driving home. As we passed the golf shop, he commented AGAIN that he was interested in getting fit for custom clubs. I told him to turn around, and that now was as good a time as any to just go get some information.

We ended up buying a set. More on that soon.

When all was said and done, we didn't get home until after 8pm. Then I had to give J a haircut because we had plans to meet my dad and step-mom at their friends' house in Yakima for Easter brunch.

Yesterday we drove to Yakima (about an hour and a half away) for brunch with a bunch of people we didn't know. Turned out to be a rather enjoyable day. Then we drove home. It was a lot of driving and a lot of sitting around. I ended up sleeping almost the whole way home.

I'm almost glad it's the week so I can get some rest!

Handbook for 2009, pt. 2

We talked last week about the things we should be doing this year for health. This week it's all about how to improve your personality.

Personality:

11. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
I don't know that I could say this any better. It's sometimes hard not to compare myself to others,though. But what does it say about my personality when I find myself coming up short rather than the other person? It's better not to compare.

12. Don't have negative thoughts about things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
If I don't have control over it, it's not worth worrying. A wise person once told me that "Worry is a false sense of control." How true is that? If it's beyond your control, don't waste time on it.

13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
Can someone teach me how to say no? I am forever overextending myself for the benefit of others. While I like to be helpful, it's hard when I agree to too much. If I can't do everything then I feel bad.

14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
I am almost always the first person to laugh at myself. If I do something embarrassing, I always tell the people around me not to share it with others because I'm embarrassed. Then I turn around and share it myself 99% of the time. I've shared lots of my dumb moments on this blog, and I love to tell stories in person, too.

15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
I waste a lot of energy on gossip. I wish I didn't, but sometimes it's just too much fun. For the most part, I think the gossip I engage in is nice - it's not mean-spirited. But gossip is gossip is gossip.

16. Dream more while you are awake.
I need to do this, too. I set goals for myself, but they are usually work related. I need to be dreaming more about personal stuff, too. And I miss daydreaming. I have this compulsive need to be doing something all the time now. I need to be productive. In fact, on Monday morning I was complaining about everything I needed to get done during break and J stopped me. He told me that it was okay to do nothing because I was on vacation. It was odd, but I needed to hear that. I needed "permission" to do whatever I wanted to do rather than do what I thought I needed to do. Though I'm beginning to feel a bit guilty that I haven't done much around the house this week, I've needed this time off.

17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
I agree for the most part. However, envy often drives us to work harder to get something else we want. I would never go into debt over envy, but sometimes, it gives us that little push. For example, I wanted a swimming pool in my back yard. The summers are outrageously hot over here, and I was so envious of my co-workers who spent time in the pools in their back yards. I took on extra responsibilities at work and did a lot of subbing during my prep hour, and at the end of the year, J and I took the extra money I had earned and bought a pool! I don't waste my time worrying about other things, though. Like cell phones or electronics, or clothes. What I've got works just fine.

18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
This is so hard to do in practice! Especially when you feel like you've been having the same fight for the last twelve years! I don't dwell on these things by any means, but in the middle of a fight, it's hard to forget the past...

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
I totally agree with this one! It has been my theory for my entire life. There are very few people in this world that I hate. It's simply a waste of energy. And, if you are filled with negative energy it's hard to be happy. Life's more fun when you're happy.

20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
I think I have done this. I have very few regrets in this life. For the most part, I am a pretty darn happy person. I suppose it helps that I have some pretty serious memory issues, too. I can't hardly remember what I had for breakfast, let alone what happened a few months or years ago.

21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
Amen. I wish more people understood this. If more people knew this the world would literally be a happier place.

22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
Hmmm....I don't know if I totally agree with this one. I think that there are a lot of lessons to learn in life, but I think that sometimes you just need to enjoy yourself. Also, I don't know that problems simply appear and disappear. I think we not only bring a lot of problems on ourselves, but we can fix those problems, too. Ignoring them is probably not a good idea.

23. Smile and laugh more.
I love this advice. I try to find the humor in every situation. When you work with kids, if you don't have a sense of humor you're sunk. The more you smile and laugh, the more you enjoy life. I'm all about enjoying life.

24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Man, I wish I could do this, but I have a hard time with it. I like to win. I like to be right. If I am truly wrong I can admit it, but it happens so rarely that I don't have to admit it very often. Too bad J suffers from the same affliction.

How are you working on your personality this year?

Handbook for 2009, pt. 1

I wish I could take credit for the inspiration of this post, but I can't. A few weeks ago one of my colleagues sent me this Handbook for 2009 in an e-mail. I have no idea where it came from, but I'm guessing it's been all over the internet recently.


Health

1. Drink plenty of water.
I've been trying to do this recently, but it sure gets tiring running to the restroom all day long. Though my intentions are good, I'm not always successful. But I'm trying.

2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
Again, good advice. Unfortunately I do this all wrong, too. I usually don't eat breakfast (I know it's terrible...don't yell at me...) and I sometimes don't get a balanced lunch. It all depends on what my day is like at school. J and I suck at regular grocery shopping. Right after we've been, I have lots of healthy choices for lunch and things are good for a week or so. Then we need to go shopping again, and we don't always do it right away. So then I eat lunches consisting of whatever I can get my hands on. Then we are out of food, basically, and I don't eat lunch unless I can get to the cafeteria. Believe it or not, that doesn't happen very regularly, either, so a lot of times I don't eat lunch. Suffice it to say, by the time dinner rolls around I am starving. Once you have a bad habit in place it's really hard to break it...but this is something I'm working on still.

3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
Such good advice, but so hard to do during the school year. During the summer it's easier for me because I can go to the grocery store more regularly.

4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
I've got the Enthusiasm and Empathy down...the Energy part is slowly coming. It's been helping that I have been working out five days a week with one of my friends. At least twice last week I didn't want to do it, but I forced myself. I was glad I did after the fact, too. I'm trying!

5. Make time to practice meditation and yoga.
Hmm. Not sure this is going to happen. In fact, pretty sure it's not going to. I'm too busy running to the rest room because of all the water! And I'm just not that patient.

6. Play more games.
Totally agree. J and I have an entire closet full of games that we hardly ever use. And just the other day he asked me if I wanted to play Cribbage with him and I turned him down. I should have agreed. Maybe I'll see if he wants to play tonight.

7. Read more books than you did in 2008.
Always a worthy goal...but I don't keep track of how many books I read. I should do that. It would be interesting to see how many I actually read. In the last week alone I have read seven or eight... Granted none of them were "hard" reading. They were mostly chick lit books and a few young adult novels, but I've been reading like crazy lately.

8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
This is hard for me. Why is it so hard? If I could do this perhaps I could work on the meditating bit. Although, while this is hard for me, it's nearly impossible for J. Unless we are sitting in public at a restaurant, he talks all the time. When we are in public, though, I practically have to bribe him to talk. Go figure.

9. Sleep for 7 hours.
I do manage to do this most days. There are times when I need more than this and other times when I get by just fine on less. But I would say I average seven hours a night.

10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
I don't always walk, but at least five times a week I have been working out. We ride the stationary bike and use the rowing machine or walk every day. Twice a week we have been lifting weights, too. My friend's husband is a PE teacher and strength coach, and he has worked out a schedule for us. I wish I could say I enjoyed it, but I don't really. I'm thankful for the routine, and I'm committed to it, but if I didn't have my friend to talk to during the work out, I would probably not do it so often.

What are you doing for your health this year?

And that's how the fight started...

I feel like I'm wussing out to just post a funny e-mail from a friend, but this was too good to pass up! My friend B sent this to me a few months ago, and I've kept it because it was that good. I hope you enjoy!

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And that's how the fight started.

************************************************************************

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

And that's how the fight started.....

***********************************************************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And that's how the fight started.....

*******************************************************************

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'

So I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And that's how the fight started......

************************************************************************

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please,' I said.

He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

'Nah, she can order for herself,' I said.

And that's how the fight started.

Congratulations, President Obama

It seems like the elections were just yesterday, doesn't it? After an extremely long campaign - seriously, I thought it was never going to end - America decided that it was time for change. And boy, are we going to get it!

The inauguration of any president is an important and exciting event. This year, though, I think is special. Today is the day President-Elect Obama becomes President Obama. I don't know about you, but I'm excited.

The job of President is not one that I envy. There is SO much responsibility. I'm not sure about you, but I wouldn't want to have to step in and clean up years and years and years of other peoples' messes, either. Plus, in this country, there is no shortage of people with opinions...and they're not afraid to share them.

We have a long road ahead of us, but I am eager to see what the future holds.

Congratulations, and good luck, President Obama.

Peace on earth

If this is possible, anything is possible.

Avoiding real work

A few days ago, I was surfing the internet, avoiding real work, when I came across this Twilight spoof.



Why do I find this so funny? Is there something wrong with me? Don't answer that. Just enjoy.

Hallmark Ornaments

Every Christmas since I was born, (except, apparently 1983) I have received at least one Hallmark Christmas ornament. It is tradition, and it's one I hold close to my heart. It's almost to the point of obsession.

Three or four years ago, a few days before Christmas, my mom happened to comment that she had not purchased Hallmark ornaments that year because she and John had gotten us some cute ones when they visited Leavenworth. It shocked me how disappointed I was, and how immediately the feeling hit me. I hung up the phone, and found myself near tears.

Over an ornament. Or, more appropriately, over a lack of an ornament.

I called my mom back and told her how I felt. That I didn't know why I felt so strongly about it, but I did. I told her that I didn't particularly care which ornaments she got in addition to Hallmark, but that I wanted a Hallmark ornament, too. She acquiesced, and has continued still.

J and I haven't even put up a tree for the last four Christmases, but I love getting those ornaments every year.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not an ornament snob, exactly. I love all Christmas ornaments. When I put up a tree, I put them all up, no matter where they came from. But it's tradition to get a Hallmark ornament from my mom every year, and I don't want that to stop.

In addition to being a nice record of time passed, when I moved out of the house my mom gave me a box with all my ornaments in it. I was only 22, but I already had a lot of ornaments of my own...Mom didn't have to give up any of hers to supplement my collection. Some people like the plain round ball ornaments, but I don't love them. I want my tree to have more personality. I was thrilled to death that J and I had enough ornaments between us that we didn't have to buy generic ornaments to fill in the tree. We did buy some small red and silver balls, but didn't use them all. And we had a 6 foot tree.

Even before we got married, I started giving J Hallmark ornaments at Christmas, but it was sporadic. I didn't give him one every year. Once we got hitched officially, though, I got deliberate about it. In addition to whatever my mom gives him / us, I give J at least one Hallmark ornament each year. He doesn't care about this stuff as much as I do, but I think it will be cool for our kids or our grandkids to have those ornaments one day. When we have kids, they will be getting Hallmark ornaments for sure.

It's horribly morbid to think about your parent's demise, but when I think about my mom's belongings, and what makes me think of her, her Hallmark ornament collection is the forerunner. Her wedding ring and some cement planters that used to be my grandma's are on the list, too, but the Hallmark ornaments are near the top. I'm sure my sisters will want some, too, but I definitely will get some of them!

But I digress.

Because we haven't put up a tree for a long time, we haven't bothered to pull all of our ornaments down from the attic in the garage. I've just taken whatever new Christmas decoration stuff we get and put it in shoe boxes and then stacked them on J's workbench in the garage.

This year I decided I wanted to take them all down, and photograph each and every single ornament. I'm not really sure why. It's sorta crazy.

It's really crazy.

But I did it. Well, to be exact, J climbed up into the creepy attic and handed down plastic storage bin after plastic storage bin. I carried them into the house and then got to work. I charged the batteries for my camera (I have two so that I never have to stop taking pictures while the other one charges - it's one of the best purchases I ever made), grabbed a white towel to use as a neutral background, and then got to work. It took me almost all of yesterday, and most of today, but I did it! I have created a list of every Hallmark ornament I own (plus the few that J owns and the few that were given to us as a couple), and taken pictures of literally every single ornament, Hallmark or not. Turns out we own 73 Hallmark ornaments and countless other types. Of the 73 Hallmarks, J owns 10...and we share about 8...I told you I had a lot...

Here are a few of my favorite Hallmark ornaments over the years. Remember, I have tons...I love them all, but these are a few that stand out.

This is the very first ornament I ever got.

Coincidentally, J got a Hallmark ornament his very first Christmas, too! He didn't get another, though, until I started giving them to him 23 years later! This one was from his great-grandma on his dad's side.

And this is the first one I gave J in 1998. We had been dating for a year.

I don't love this one, but the year we got married it was the ONLY "Our first Christmas" ornament at Hallmark.

This one reminds me of Easter. Santa at Easter?? It's not really Easter. It's called "Woodland Friends" and I love it, regardless.

This is the ornament I got this year. It is from "A Christmas Story." Remember that movie? I remember watching it as a kid, over and over and over again with my sisters.

This is my all-time favorite ornament. I don't really know why. Perhaps it's because nobody else in my family has it? T was born in 1979 so hers is a baby's first Christmas ornament. It's pretty, and it's my favorite.

Just to prove I am not an ornament snob, here are some of my favorite non-Hallmark ornaments. We have tons of these, too. Interestingly, I find that the ones I like the best are the handmade or unique ones. I have lots of "generic" Santas and snowmen, etc. that are super cute, but these are my favorites.

This came from J's grandma. She made it for me. I LOVE the all white / silver look. It's so elegant!

She made this one, too!

Hmm...apparently J's grandma and grandad have fantastic taste in ornaments, because this one also came from them. Grandma did not make this one, though! It opens up like a little box! It's so cute. J has a red one with white reindeer on it. I got online today and found a bunch more of these. I'm considering ordering a bunch to give away to people next year. I know that I'll end up keeping them to myself, though, so I'll have to think it through before I make the purchase...

This is the cute one from Leavenworth that threatened the Hallmark ornament collection a few years ago. I can't hold it against her, though...she's divine!

I imagine when I have kids, I will like the homemade ones best, but regardless, I think this Hallmark tradition is here to stay.

Irritating

I don't know if I suffer from some sort of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), but when I get a thought in my head, it often doesn't go away. You know how you get a song stuck in your head sometimes? (Like "It's a Small World"?) That happens to me not only with songs but all kinds of information. And it WON'T go away until the thought has been resolved.

If it's something simple like, "the litter boxes need to be cleaned," I can go about my business throughout the day. But it'll remain in my thoughts all day long. It doesn't go away until I have cleaned the litter boxes. And forget going to bed. Sleep will not come because that little voice gets louder and louder.

I've been known to get up at 1:00 in the morning to print something off the computer so I can take it to school with me later that day. Or clean the litter boxes. Seriously. I've tried writing notes or "to do" lists and leaving them on my alarm clock so I see them first thing in the morning, but even that is not sufficient most days. Luckily for me, most things I worry about are in my control and easily solvable. Sometimes, though, I run across things I can't resolve myself, and it's immensely irritating.

Want to know what's kept me up for the last few days (other than this annoying cough and stuffy nose that just won't quit)?

1. J couldn't think of anything he wanted for Christmas. He gave a list to my mother, but that was it. I have to call her and find out what she bought off that list so I know what to avoid, but I haven't had a chance to shop so I haven't called. So it's at the back of my head and it will remain there until I get around to making that call.

2. A few weeks ago I had a trivia contest / giveaway on my blog, and just three people entered. I guess I thought more people read this blog, but apparently not. But that's not what's keeping me up. The prize was a $50 gift card to anywhere the winner wanted (provided I could get the card at Safeway - have you been to their gift card center?? It's A-MAZ-ING!). Well, when I put the names in a hat and drew, my good friend Leah won. She wrote to me and said she wanted an iTunes gift card because she recently got a new mp3 player. Much like J and I, Leah and her husband don't share the same taste in music, so I was excited for her! That would be a lot of songs for her to have and enjoy! Well, I went to the store and got a gift card. Two days later I was out running errands again and I made it to Hallmark specifically for two things: a congrats card for Leah (believe it or not, in all my card collection, I don't have any congratulations cards except for graduation!) and a Christmas ornament for J. (Shh - don't tell him! Though I have gotten him at least one every year since we got married. If he thinks about it, it won't be a surprise!) I wrote a nice little note in the card, put the gift card in, sealed it and dug out Leah's address. I put a stamp on the card, and then put it on the counter where J leaves mail that needs to go out. He drives right by the Richland Post Office on his way to work, and can drop mail off pretty easily. If I had put it in my car to take to the mailbox myself, it may take me three or four days to remember to go to the post office. So I let J do it. He saw it that morning, and took it, and some bills, to the post office. Nobody has come to repo either of our cars, so I know the mail went out. But Leah never received the gift card. That thought has been bugging me for awhile now. I was imagining her choosing songs, and walking around the house singing with or to her kids, but that card never showed up. I'm glad it was my friend who won, because she believes me that I sent it out. She thinks that maybe it was stolen from her mailbox because she didn't get her normal amount of mail that week. But it still bugs me. It was a lot of money so I don't want to replace it (and Leah has NOT asked me to), but I also feel really badly about it. I just need to know what happened so I can resolve that thought and put it away.

3. It has been TERRIBLE weather here for a week now. It started snowing last Saturday, and has been so cold that none of the snow has melted. We just keep adding to it every other day or so. Temperatures yesterday finally climbed out of the single digits, but 12-18 degrees is still pretty darn cold. The roads were horrible on Monday, but we still went to school. It was a two hour delay, but it should have been canceled. Tuesday was another two hour delay, but the roads were a little better, so I wasn't mad about going to school. Yesterday was yet another two hour delay, AND we still had an early release. Classes were 24 minutes long. Lunch was 41 minutes long. There is still another two hour delay this morning, but it snowed again yesterday. I am waiting around trying to find out if we have a two hour delay or if school is going to be canceled. But KSD waits until the very last possible second to cancel if they are going to. This wouldn't be much of a problem except that if we are not going to school I don't want to take a shower and get up quite yet. I want to get back in my warm bed and snooze a bit. But I was up at 6 a.m. and have been compulsively checking the web page for more than an hour and a half now. Still no change...2 hour delay...