Handbook for 2009, pt. 2

We talked last week about the things we should be doing this year for health. This week it's all about how to improve your personality.

Personality:

11. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
I don't know that I could say this any better. It's sometimes hard not to compare myself to others,though. But what does it say about my personality when I find myself coming up short rather than the other person? It's better not to compare.

12. Don't have negative thoughts about things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
If I don't have control over it, it's not worth worrying. A wise person once told me that "Worry is a false sense of control." How true is that? If it's beyond your control, don't waste time on it.

13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
Can someone teach me how to say no? I am forever overextending myself for the benefit of others. While I like to be helpful, it's hard when I agree to too much. If I can't do everything then I feel bad.

14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
I am almost always the first person to laugh at myself. If I do something embarrassing, I always tell the people around me not to share it with others because I'm embarrassed. Then I turn around and share it myself 99% of the time. I've shared lots of my dumb moments on this blog, and I love to tell stories in person, too.

15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
I waste a lot of energy on gossip. I wish I didn't, but sometimes it's just too much fun. For the most part, I think the gossip I engage in is nice - it's not mean-spirited. But gossip is gossip is gossip.

16. Dream more while you are awake.
I need to do this, too. I set goals for myself, but they are usually work related. I need to be dreaming more about personal stuff, too. And I miss daydreaming. I have this compulsive need to be doing something all the time now. I need to be productive. In fact, on Monday morning I was complaining about everything I needed to get done during break and J stopped me. He told me that it was okay to do nothing because I was on vacation. It was odd, but I needed to hear that. I needed "permission" to do whatever I wanted to do rather than do what I thought I needed to do. Though I'm beginning to feel a bit guilty that I haven't done much around the house this week, I've needed this time off.

17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
I agree for the most part. However, envy often drives us to work harder to get something else we want. I would never go into debt over envy, but sometimes, it gives us that little push. For example, I wanted a swimming pool in my back yard. The summers are outrageously hot over here, and I was so envious of my co-workers who spent time in the pools in their back yards. I took on extra responsibilities at work and did a lot of subbing during my prep hour, and at the end of the year, J and I took the extra money I had earned and bought a pool! I don't waste my time worrying about other things, though. Like cell phones or electronics, or clothes. What I've got works just fine.

18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
This is so hard to do in practice! Especially when you feel like you've been having the same fight for the last twelve years! I don't dwell on these things by any means, but in the middle of a fight, it's hard to forget the past...

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
I totally agree with this one! It has been my theory for my entire life. There are very few people in this world that I hate. It's simply a waste of energy. And, if you are filled with negative energy it's hard to be happy. Life's more fun when you're happy.

20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
I think I have done this. I have very few regrets in this life. For the most part, I am a pretty darn happy person. I suppose it helps that I have some pretty serious memory issues, too. I can't hardly remember what I had for breakfast, let alone what happened a few months or years ago.

21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
Amen. I wish more people understood this. If more people knew this the world would literally be a happier place.

22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
Hmmm....I don't know if I totally agree with this one. I think that there are a lot of lessons to learn in life, but I think that sometimes you just need to enjoy yourself. Also, I don't know that problems simply appear and disappear. I think we not only bring a lot of problems on ourselves, but we can fix those problems, too. Ignoring them is probably not a good idea.

23. Smile and laugh more.
I love this advice. I try to find the humor in every situation. When you work with kids, if you don't have a sense of humor you're sunk. The more you smile and laugh, the more you enjoy life. I'm all about enjoying life.

24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Man, I wish I could do this, but I have a hard time with it. I like to win. I like to be right. If I am truly wrong I can admit it, but it happens so rarely that I don't have to admit it very often. Too bad J suffers from the same affliction.

How are you working on your personality this year?