Call me Grace (as in "Graceful")

A short while ago, Kaci at Ellyphant did a post about how she fell down the stairs. I sympathized with her because I, too, have fallen down the stairs. But I did it at work two years ago. Picture this:


It's after school. I'm leaving my upstairs classroom on my way to the baseball fields. I get down the first flight of stairs fine. I turn the corner and start down the second flight. See another teacher wave at me, and I wave back. The next thing I remember is the sensation of falling forward in slow motion and thinking to myself "This can't really be happening." Don't remember another thing until I get to the bottom of the stairs. I went head first down a whole flight. I went down face first, but landed in a graceful heap at the bottom on my back. Kids saw. Other teachers saw. Someone ran to a classroom and called the main office. The assistant principal came running. The athletic trainer came running. Others who were wandering by were attracted by all the commotion and they came over to see what was going on. The custodian was there, picking up all my junk that went flying as I fell. The security guard came after a few minutes pushing a wheel chair. I thought I was going to die. But not because I was hurt...I figured I would die of embarrassment long before any injuries even made themselves known. I pulled the security guard down close and asked her to make people go away...I was too embarrassed to be the center of attention. And I told her that I would crawl out of the school on my hands and knees before I would use the wheel chair, and would she kindly take it away?


It was horrible.


They made me sit there for a few minutes until the color came back to my face. Then my assistant principal told me he needed me to go to the office with him and call MedCor, the people we have to report on the job injuries to. The crowd of concerned passersby followed me there, gathering more concerned folks on the way to the office. While I sat at the front desk and made the call, people were staring at me. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I sort of did both. The nurse on the other end of the phone was an idiot. I was in the office, surrounded by TONS of concerned people who were trying to be quiet, and the lady was asking me the dumbest questions. When she asked me (and this is the truth) "Have you lost control of your bowels?" I started laughing so hard I started to cry. She was concerned and asked if she could speak to my immediate supervisor. I handed the phone over, and while he was talking to her, everyone else wanted to know what was going on.


Eventually, people started to leave, and I was allowed to as well. I still had to go to the baseball games because I was meeting Ignite mentors there, so the trainer ran and got a golf cart and told me he'd give me a ride there. On the way over, I called J and asked him to come to the games because I needed help with the activities, now that I had fallen down the stairs. He left work right away and met me. One of my mentors was waiting for me when I got there, and between J and Jeremy, they took care of everything.


By the time the game was over, I was pretty sore, and still pretty shaken up. I asked J to drive me home. He dropped me off and then went and got Laurie, who lived close by at the time, and went back to the school. They got my car home, J drove her back home, and then he came home to see how I was. I was okay. Because I had fallen forward and then apparently rolled to my back on my way down the stairs, my small injuries were in weird places. I had a scratch down my spine (from the hooks on my bra), and one of the hooks was completely flattened, making it hard for my stiff and sore arms to reach around and unhook. I had a few deep blue and black bruises on my elbows, one palm, and my knee. Other than that and general stiffness that lasted for four days, I was fine.


I was the talk of the school for about three weeks before it all died down. It lasted that long because the video of my fall kept making the rounds at school. Yes, that's right. I was caught on video on the security cameras in my moment of glory. (They kindly made me a copy. If I can find it and figure out how to do it, I'll consider adding it to my blog at a later date. I'll let you know if I do.)

Eventually, people quit talking about it. However, my humiliation continues to randomly resurface over and over and over again, just when I least expect it.


The following school year started as usual with all sorts of meetings and ERASR training. I don't remember what ERASR stands for, but it's all about workplace safety, etc. One of the categories we have to cover is "Slips, trips and falls." Guess who was the butt of all the jokes that day?


Periodically, kids will come to me and say, "Mr. / Mrs. So-and-so said you fell down the stairs and you have it on video. Can I see it?"


I thought that finally it was over, though. Until the last week of school this past school year.


Laurie and I were chaperoning at the yearbook distribution. I was helping hand out books, she was doing some crowd control. The crowds started to die down, so Laurie was looking through one of the books. I was sitting on the table near her, waiting for the signal that we were free to go. All of a sudden, Laurie is laughing so hard she is crying. She said, "Oh, Kristina!! Have you seen page 77?!?!?"


I had not seen page 77. I grabbed a book and opened it up. Here's half of the actual page from the yearbook. Look at the picture on the top right of the page. (I blurred out last names of kids for privacy. I cut half the page out so hopefully you can read the writing.)





In case you couldn't read it, here's the caption:


"Have you ever fallen down or up the stairs at SHS? 76 said yes, 84 said no. Shane and Jake practice the Hocking Maneuver, made famous by the movie version of Ms. (sic) Hocking falling down the C-hall stairs."


Crap. It's never going to go away, is it?